The Trap Miami "Are you ready for the Experience"

So this past weekend I took a last minute trip to Miami to regroup and refocus. If you know me, I am very spontaneous and at any moment will get up and leave alone if I have to just to gain some peace.

Although, Its Miami where the city never sleeps, my intention was to network and possibly shoot some content and eat good, and well I did eat.

But let me stop blabbing and get to the juicy part of the trip.

So I named this blog "The Trap Miami." The Trap Miami if you don't know is a swingers club in North Miami.

I had linked up with some old friends who have been members for quite awhile inside the club setting and outside. Ive known them to be in a open relationship ever since I met them so I thought it would be a fun night to experience with them two, which is was but in the moment I also found out somethings about myself I thought I could handle and couldn't.

So being a content creator this should've been like heaven for me right? Like who doesn't want to be in a club full of couples and singles, drinking, eating, walking around naked admiring each others bodies, grabbing on penises and Vagina, indulging in some wild adventures and kinks and having men or woman gawk at your body? Sounds amazing right?

I was thrilled to go simply because I haven't been to one since being in Atlanta many years ago, and haven't been pleased in quite awhile so I was looking for a rush.

In my mind I wanted to be fucked like crazy by some random ass man, didn't matter what race at least I thought, and have my vagina devoured by a woman ( which happened for a quick moment but cut short).

I created this moment in my head over and over. I thought I was ready for the hard fucking, multiple partner kissing, desires and pleasures possibly being answered and sadly I was totally wrong.

Now I did have a good time, up until the point where I found myself talking to the bouncer more so the people and I enjoyed our basic flirting back and fourth, rather than grouped up in a room, (especially during Covid) but his conversation is what got me aroused and away from the large groups.

I won't lie, I went back and fourth to the room and definitely the bar lol smacked a few asses, tugged on a few more penises and tried to push forward without being the party pooper.

As a few hours went by a young beautiful woman and her man entered the room and literally she came straight for me.

I tried not to panic simply because before entering they have a waiver that states this may happen which I signed but at that very moment is when my anxiety shot through the roof and I went into complete panic mode.

Im not sure if it was how aggressive she pushed up on me, because I usually am the aggressor or the fact I was caught of guard either or I was not ready.

Rewind ....So some of you may or may not know but I was raped, and sexually assaulted a few years ago on multiple occasions!

And obviously those incidents that happened was by my attackers who obviously came towards me aggressively without my consent and boy did those moments instantly play back in my head like it was the night before.

My heart began to get heavy, my breathing sped up and sorry if this sounds racist but every man began to look like the men who attacked and raped me especially the non-black fellas, even though it was a woman who triggered it.

Ok, I know the story took a total twist and probably threw you completely off but that's why I asked the question "Are you ready for the Experience."

You can easily find yourself thinking you want this experience but it is not for the fate or weak and I will also recommend not for those who have had any sexual trauma because rather you think you're ready your mind and body may not be, and that is what happened to me.

At the point when I was thought I was having fun, I realized I had totally given up my control and almost wasnt aware of it.

At any moment I could've walked in one of those rooms, closed the doors and any one in that building could've had their way with me which I wasn't ready to do especially.

Knowing I am still healing from my past wounds which I thought I was strong enough to battle and was healed was just a split wound that was now opened back up.

Now I know you're like well you do sex work for the world to see, what's the difference? The difference is I have control over my content. From where I shoot, what I shoot, If I shoot with anyone and control. Losing control over my body to another being is something I promised to never do unless I felt comfortable to do so, and somewhere in that moment It was reminded,

Thank God.

So now this leads me to the ending of the night when I realized that we as woman sometimes give men too much power over our body.

As the night was ending the couple I was with was still indulging into some fun, and apparently the night before they had some private fun also. Through out the night the woman kept expressing how certain things are hurting her on her body, and as she would jokingly say or believed was funny she would express it as she was raped the night before.

Not funny to me though, not a joke and especially not a word that you should feel so freely to express in that manner because RAPE is a strong word, action, and it is not a word to be

compared to sexual pleasure rather with a partner or in group.

But anyways that's how she felt and I just continued to watch and went into a shell of protective energy, like I said talking to the bouncer and staying by the lockers to pass time.

Well shit went completely left and I mean real quick. Apparentely, her dude attempted to grab her while in a private room in a certain place on her body and her reaction was to pull away. Oh boy when I say he did not like that, he got pissed the fuck off. So much that we immediately got dressed and left.

On the way out the door and the ride home she kept trying explain it was an accident and she reacted out of pain. But do you think he wanted to hear that? In is mind he was thinking she was turning him away which caused him to completely erupt. YIKES!!!

It got to the point where all I wanted to do was use the restroom and head back to my homeboys crib. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with the mess, even though deep down I wanted to defend her and curse him the fuck out for being mad at a woman for telling him

how her body felt and how she was suppose to act in the moment.

It hurt me because Ive been there before, even with him many years ago. So to see a man throw a woman out of his car over the fact she expressed her body was in pain disgusted me. This woman just not only submitted to you mentally, sexually and emotionally, but she submitted her BODY to others because of the happiness it brought you and not just this night many other nights as well.

To see her apologizing to this man as he pushed her away and demoralized her sickens me, saddened me and totally makes me want to go back to fighting for woman empowerment for ourselves, our bodies and the protection over our mind.

I haven't talked to neither one them since and probably won't but I do hope she sees she is better than how she was treated despite how he reacted. And I hope he looks deep within himself and realize somewhere in his body is needs ealing for treating a woman as Such when she has given yo control over her most precious jewels.

But Im not here to bash the club or anything of that nature because although it wasn't the setting for me it may be for someone else. I just realized I can still be open to fun just on my terms and under my control and in a setting where I'm comfortable.

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November Randolph 2020