
Hello readers and welcome back to another great read. If you been staying up to date than you know the last post was "Manifestation" and I touched basis on speaking things you want and desire into existence. But this post is going to be a little different as I have had a wonderful new experience I wanted to share and get your opinion on things I never knew I would feel.
This post I will be taking about interracial dating, somethings I learned while experiencing my first date with an caucasian man (which I never thought I would have had the emotions and reservations that arose) and the struggles I had in the experience.
Now this post is not meant to offend anyone or any race so i hope you can keep an open mind like I do while reading. I will simlply be sharing what I learned, the dos and donts and how I plan on moving foward if I continue dating outside my race. It really is something to channel not with just dating but also with understanding and learning cultual difference, ways of affection and communication.

To begin, how did I meet this man? Funny story I was at a friends house and needed a ride home since the prior night I was dropped off so I wasn't mobile. My friend was off to work and I had a ton of things to do so instead of waiting I called a Uber. My Uber driver name was Sean and when I stepped in his all red Tesla I noticed a great looking man so I immediately no lie began conversation with him. I don't normally partake in small talk in Ubers but as our conversation began I noticed we had a few things in common. It was a 30 min drive and we literally talked and laughed and shared personal stories the whole way to my destination.
As I was getting out of the car when we arrived he asked for my number and preceded to ask me out for drinks when my schedule freed up. He was a total gentleman about it and not once did I feel uncomfortable by him asking me. I didn't think about race or anything I purely went off vibes. Staying optimistic I was open. I haven't been out with a man in quite a while and was excited to one, have a chance to go out without my regular crew and two, have a different conversation that maybe sparked something. Boy oh boy I didn't know what I was getting myself into but I was like what the hell lets give it a shot.
We conversed via text for the next few weeks nothing too big on my end but I can promise everyday he texted or called asking about this date I agreed to. He would have the time planned (because he knew I was a single parent), destination and even offered many times to bring my daughter ( which I wasn't quite ready for) but the consistency and bluntness of seeing me I had to respect merely because my prior interactions with men were cut to wyd, what you want to do with hour or day breaks and not one conversation as acknowledging me as a package.

Fast forward to a Tuesday night I had just got a babysitter which is rare and he had sent a text asking was I free, so I hopped on it and said yes. About 30 mins passed and I got a call to meet him for drinks as this Irish Pub and he had already purchased movie tickets for 9pm. No lie in my mind I was shocked! Im like hold up, we don't have to sit and discuss for another hr or so about what were doing and where were headed was sadly odd to me but I liked it and I got even more excited about the evening.
It was cool that he chose movies to me since its a bit more intimate and conversation isn't the point of the night especially being a first date but I was all for it, I was just happy like I said for once a date being planned from beginning to end. He was such a gentleman and literally showed me chivalry still does exists, it even came to a moment where he was a bit touchy and feely and felt me get a bit uncomfortable and apologized in that moment which was huge for me considering my past trauma.
So the night ended he walked me to my car opened the door and planted an unexpected kiss on my cheek. In awe and shock I drove home in a happy place, it wasn't until got home is when all the overthinking and thoughts begin in my head.
Now the next phase of the story is where I went into overdrive with my thoughts possibly and even put a huge wall up thinking of all the things he did that the previous black men I dated didn't like, planning, consistency, chivalry, affection and attentiveness something I haven't received In awhile. It was cool but In that moment I did ask myself why can't a black man show me these same attributes? Was it lack of experience, did I set a different level for him than I did the previous men?
Was I not upfront with the previous men which causedme to portray my level of all those things I desire low and not of importance? Im not sure but I do know I went into overdrive thinking that I turned all these questions I had around on him, which I know caught him by surprise, or did it?
Very hesitant these are a few questions I asked him...
Have you ever dated a black girl?
(Sean response yes but they were raised by a caucasian family) Kinda weird but I said yeah that's not the same different struggles possibly and different upbringing.
What made you ask me on a date?
(Sean response my energy and attractiveness)
Are you always touch feely like that?
(Something that was a bit much for me honestly because I haven't had in a while)
(Sean response that's his love language)
I also asked how does It feel to have people see you with a black woman?
(Sean response he didn't care)
BUT for me this was a huge one I NEVER thought I would care about. I'll touch base on that after listing the questions I asked and go a bit deeper.
I asked has he had sex with a black woman? Probably to early to ask but I did
(Sean response yes several black woman, than proceeded to say that most of the time it was at swinger clubs and events, yikes!)
My stop sign immediately went up and thoughts went crazy again because this is something I enjoyed but Never did it with a caucasian man in that or any other setting although I've experienced them asking me but always turning them down, smh.

NOW these are the questions Sean asked me. I am going to be very blunt and open about my answers so please don't Judge me even if you do its my truth and transparency so I can only be me.
Sean asked " Have ever been with a white man or any other race but my own?"
My response,I have not but have come close always had reservations.
Sean asked "How does it make you feel being out with a white man?"
My response, a bit uneasy considering what most are saying about us, or more so if someone I know sees us together. Even going to the movies I didn't feel as confident or secure being next to him. (Which is dumb to think but its how I felt)
Sean asked "Can you see your self sexually with a caucasian or different race?"
I am not sure honestly, and In that moment thinking of it did have me cringe a bit. Than my crazy self was like if liquor involved. Smh which meant I couldn't be present the first moment if it did cause we all know when you drink you don't see straight.
Sean asked "Why is is so difficult for me to accept affection?""
That was a simple answer, because I don't get it unless I know sex is going to be involved or they are looking for something In return so I can never enjoy that moment, which is sad.
So after the questions and answer game I wanted to get some advice outside of my own. I wanted to know if what I was feeling was me being scared of something new, prejudice, unaware or just overthinking what others think if they see me in that light.
I talked to a few of my black family and friends which all said they couldn't do it for one reason or another even if they found themselves very attracted to them, my mother (she dated a caucasian man before) and she said as long as you happy it can work but be mindful you may have some kick back and stares out in public or with family and friends, and I asked a couple of my African American male friends some say they could never and some say they have dated outside of the race but its not easy. Than it dawned me, I have not one friend outside my race that can give me a better inSight on how Im feeling or anyone In a interracial relationship to clear some questions and concerns I had. That needed to be changed most definitely In order for me to move forward with him and be completely comfortable in considering another date.
I do believe Love is Love and I don't judge anyone for who they choose to be in a relations with rather platonic or exclusive but I never knew it would be this hard to decipher a feeling.
In some honesty I feel like I would be giving up on my Black Kings, but I don't know who God has for me so why should I put up that wall against the opposite race because my lack of knowledge of our differences and my low standards on how I should be treated?
I don't want to compare the two but really try to understand that there is a difference on how certain races treat certain woman and I have to raise my standards and intentions in the very beginning no matter what race. I have to be completely open and vulnerable, and most of all unbothered by peoples opinions, looks or dislikes about the choice to date outside my race or even more if thas the case.
So, I did give him a second date which was quite interesting but that will be turned into a short story for your reading enjoyment.
So now I know you all are questioning will he get a third date? Honestly probably not and it has nothing to do with race but you will find out in the next short story "The Ranch."
So stay tuned and I appreciate those who took the time to read it with an open mind. I ask you to please share your thoughts and opinions by commenting below if you feel it may be something or information to help understand my feelings a little better.
With Love and Light

Nove
Please also stay up to date on the Release of my book "Freaky Talez."
Well i technically dont even use the word race cause of the fact we are all human. So it comes down to the color that you feel comfortable with. My thoughts are be open to anyone. Everyone offers some sort of experience. Me personally, I'm fully attracted to chocolate women. And thats what it comes down to basically. As far as your experiences I would say ultimately you just havent attracted the right ones. Cause there is no difference in how a Man treats you other than how that Man was raised and his personal thoughts on how he should go about treating woman.